Lindsay Lohan Plays With Knives, Has No Friends

News Of the World, the fine folks who brought us pictures of Lindsay Lohan snorting lines of coke in the loo, has now obtained some frightening pics of Lilo playing with knives.



Lindsay, who entered rehab at Malibu Promises last week, is seen holding a knife to a friend’s throat and also putting a knife in her own mouth. Never one to avoid a photo op, Lindsay appears quite out of it in these pictures taken at a house party four months ago. This once again proves that Lindsay’s first visit to rehab was NOT successful, much like her efforts to find trustworthy and good-hearted friends. Lindsay must have been coked-out-of this-universe to allow such candid shots of herself to be taken.


I must say, Ms. Lohan has made some outrageously stellar choices in friends. And when I say “friend” in Lindsay’s case what I mean is: people who would drug you, rape you, steal your wallet, hump your corpse, run over your dog, stab your grandmother, mooch your drugs, spit in your beer, leave you stranded, let your wear something that makes you look fat, screw your boyfriend, and possibly take unflattering and incriminating photos of you while you’re high on illegal substances. Real pals, that’s what I’m saying.

Lindsay, when you get out of rehab (if you get out) here’s a definition of a friend. Write this down, refer to it often, and make a mental note, for this information will serve you well in life.

A Friend is someone who looks out for you, who holds your secrets in confidence, who has your back when needed and who tells you the truth, not just what you want to hear. A friend is someone who would tell you if the guy you liked hit on them, rather than making out with them. A friend is someone who might take a silly photo of you, but also let’s you watch them delete it. A true friend is someone you can have fun with WHILE NOT fried out of your mind.

And ultimately Lindsay, a friend is someone who you choose, not who fate has chosen for you. A real friend doesn’t want anything from you, they don’t care about how much money you have or what you can do for them, they just care about you.

I think it’s safe to say that you don’t have any of these in your life, so how about you dump all these other a-holes and start all over? Your mom is not your friend, btw, that’s not her job. If she isn’t doing her job, you should fire her ass too.

Also, one last thing, in order to have a true friend, you need to be a true friend. Perhaps start with yourself and then work your way up to others, ‘cuz if you don’t like yourself, how can anyone else like you.

No need to thank me Lindsay, I’m just telling you what any person who actually cared about you should have told you long ago.

THEY WERE BOUND FOR TROUBLE !!

Paris Hilton Mocked by Sarah Silverman at the MTV Movie Awards

Sarah Silverman gave it hard Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards just hours before Paris changed clothes and headed to jail. The comedienne cracked a crude joke at the expense Paris in her opening monologue. She said to the audience, "In a couple of days, Paris Hilton is going to jail." Silverman then went on to say that "The judge says that it’s going to be a no-frills thing and that is ridiculous. She is totally going to get special treatment."


Paris Hilton Mocked by Sarah Silverman at the MTV Movie Awards

The came the inevitable penis joke at Hilton's expense and the concern that Paris may have to need some dental work done after the jail stint. The usually confident and happy Hilton looked anything but happy when the camera panned to her following Silverman's remark. Jack Nicholson loved it though.



"Why do I feel dirty," Silverman deadpanned. Star Magazine reports that Hilton appeared awkward and uncomfortable following Silverman's jokes. Earlier in the evening Paris told reporters on the red carpet, "I'm really scared but I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful."

Michael K has the video here. Paris should have known she would be teased and mocked at the show. She should have just laughed it off.

PARIS GOES TO JAIL !!

WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSH!T

Paris Hilton Gets 45 Days in Jail



Paris Hilton has successfully completed her first night at a US jail, reports says.

Celebrity socialite Paris Hilton went from a red-carpeted Hollywood soiree to a spartan Los Angeles prison cell early on Monday, surrendering ahead of schedule for a minimum 23-day incarceration.

Hilton, 26, an heir to her family's hotel fortune, surrendered to police at the Men's Central Jail in downtown Los Angeles late on Sunday in an attempt to foil the crush of media attention, a spokeswoman with the county sheriff's office, Maribel Rizo, said.

Hilton was accompanied by her mother, her younger sister Nicky, and her lawyer Richard Hutton.

Police then drove her to the Century Regional Detention Facility, the county women's jail in the Los Angeles suburb of Lynwood, about 25 km from her mansion in the Hollywood foothills.

A judge sentenced Hilton to 45 days for violating the terms of her probation, after being arrested for driving with a suspended licence.

Police had pulled the heiress over in February while she was on probation for a previous drink-driving violation.

Although sentenced to serve 45 days, she could be released after 23 days for good behaviour, court officials said.

Just ahead of checking in to jail Hilton made a glittering red-carpet appearance wearing a black strapless dress at the MTV Music Awards. She was the centre of attention, with event hosts cracking jokes about her difficulties.

The roundabout route to prison one day earlier than expected was designed to throw off the army of paparazzi camped out in front of the women's jail, creating a potential safety hazard, police said.

Hilton "was cooperative during the (booking) process, which included being fingerprinted, photographed, medically screened," said Sergeant Diane Hecht of the Los Angeles Sheriff Department.

The celebrity prisoner was "issued jail clothing, an orange top and pants, and personal hygiene items", then escorted to her cell about 1am on Monday (1800 AEST), he said.

In a change from earlier plans, Hilton will be in solitary confinement 23 hours a day and "segregated in a special housing unit from the general population", Hecht said.

Hilton will be allowed to spend an hour a day outside the cell to shower, use the jail telephone and watch television, he said.

"Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence," Hilton said earlier in a statement. "During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realise I made some mistakes.

"This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make," said Hilton.

A high-school dropout, Hilton was first noticed as a model represented by property tycoon Donald Trump's agency, then rapidly acquired a reputation as a party girl alongside sister Nicky.

But it was the 2003 release of an internet home sex video featuring her and then boyfriend Rick Salomon which made her permanent tabloid material.

Hilton starred with Nicole Richie in the reality television show, The Simple Life.

Hilton has also appeared in supporting roles in some Hollywood films such as Nine Lives, Raising Helen, The Hillz, and House of Wax.

Last year, she released a music album called Paris, which peaked at number six on the Billboard 200 chart for a week and then dropped out of sight.

In her private life, she has been engaged to male model Jason Shaw and Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, but both relationships ended in break-ups. She also dated Stavros Niarchos, the scion of another Greek shipping family.